As recruiters, we constantly speak with job seekers, and a recurring challenge we witness is how many of them unintentionally weaken their own position during negotiations. The way a lot of candidates frame their requests, express uncertainty, or create an adversarial tone can make the difference between getting what they deserve and walking away with less.
Many job seekers hesitate when it comes to negotiating, fearing they’ll come across as too aggressive or too passive. The truth lies somewhere in between: confidence without arrogance, assertiveness without hostility. When our candidates secure interviews, we often find it necessary to coach them on how to negotiate effectively without sounding overly confident, dismissive, or lacking in conviction.
How Negotiation Should Be
Negotiation is not about confrontation or winning at all costs—it’s about finding a balance that benefits both sides. The best negotiators understand that the conversation should be collaborative rather than combative. This means:
- Approaching negotiations with a problem-solving mindset, focusing on mutual benefits rather than personal gains.
- Being confident yet adaptable, understanding that some flexibility can lead to better long-term outcomes.
- Maintaining professionalism, ensuring that communication remains respectful and productive.
- Knowing when to push and when to listen, recognizing that negotiation is a two-way dialogue.
Here are three common phrases that can hinder a job seeker’s negotiation success—and what to say instead.
1. “I’m Just Asking…” / “It’s Probably Nothing, But…”
A job seeker brings up PTO but says, “It’s probably nothing, but I just wanted to ask about your vacation policy.” This downplays the importance of the question and makes it easier for the employer to dismiss it.
Instead: Be direct. Say, “I’d like to understand the PTO policy better. Can you walk me through the details?” This reinforces that the question is valid.
2. “Anything Is Fine with Me.” (When You Have Preferences)
A hiring manager asks, “Do you have a preferred start date?” The candidate shrugs and says, “Anything is fine.” This makes them seem passive and uninvolved.
Instead: Express preferences clearly. Say, “I’m flexible, but ideally, I’d like to start on [date] to ensure a smooth transition.” This shows initiative while keeping options open.
3. “I’m Not Sure, But…” / “Maybe…” / “Perhaps…”
Picture this: a hiring manager presents a salary offer, and the candidate responds, “Maybe that could work, I’m not sure…” Immediately, the hiring manager senses hesitation. It’s a small phrase, but it signals uncertainty and weakens the candidate’s position.
Instead: Be clear and assertive. Say, “I appreciate the offer. Based on my research and experience, I believe a salary of [X] would be more in line with my value.” This reframes the response as thoughtful and confident rather than hesitant.
4. “I’ll Have to Think About It.” (Used Too Early or Without Context)
Imagine a job seeker who receives an offer but instinctively responds, “I’ll have to think about it.” While taking time to evaluate an offer is wise, saying this too soon can make it seem like they’re stalling or unprepared.
Instead: Show engagement while allowing yourself time. Say, “This is an exciting opportunity, and I’d like to take a little time to review the details. I’ll get back to you by [specific time].” This maintains momentum while demonstrating professionalism.
5. “This Is Non-Negotiable.” (Used Too Early or Aggressively)
A candidate insists, “I can’t accept anything less than $85,000. That’s non-negotiable.” The hiring manager immediately feels boxed in, and the conversation becomes tense.
Instead: Frame your priorities in a way that invites discussion. Say, “Salary is a key factor for me, and based on my research, $85,000 is in line with market rates for this role. How can we work together to reach an agreement?” This keeps the conversation open while reinforcing your expectations.
6. “I Already Know That.”
A candidate is discussing benefits with a hiring manager, who starts explaining the company’s 401(k) plan. The candidate cuts them off with, “I already know that.” This shuts down the conversation and misses an opportunity to gather details.
Instead: Stay open to new information. Say, “That’s great to hear. Could you share more details on employer matching?” This keeps the dialogue flowing and shows engagement.
Key Takeaways for Improvement
- Be Prepared: Research salary benchmarks, benefits, and negotiation strategies in advance.
- Be Clear and Direct: Remove unnecessary qualifiers and state your points with confidence.
- Frame Negotiation as a Win-Win: Position your requests as opportunities for mutual benefit.
- Listen More Than You Speak: Gain insight into the employer’s position before responding.
- Remain Professional and Respectful: Keep the conversation constructive and solutions-focused.
- Know Your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): Have a backup plan so you negotiate from a place of confidence.
Final Thoughts
Negotiation isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about reaching an agreement that works for both parties. By avoiding weak, dismissive, or confrontational language, job seekers can project confidence, advocate for themselves effectively, and secure better offers. The next time you prepare for an interview, remember: the words you use can shape the outcome.
